The Cancer Journey

  A month ago, I was on my way to the hospital thinking to myself, “Steve, haven’t you been to enough doctors? Haven’t you seen enough of the inside of hospitals and clinics?” I’d signed up for knee replacement surgery and I wasn’t so sure; although the day-of surgery is a little late to renege. I’d  had the required X-rays and scans  nd I’d gotten an OK and encouragement  from my family practice   Again??? doc and my oncologist. In only a few minutes they’d be hooking me up and putting me out.  So why would I do that?  Some of my risks are obvious. I’d had the other knee replaced in 2001 and it triggered a heart attack on my first night home. I also needed to take-off two chemo treatment cycles. What might that might trigger? I’ve been through several Physical Therapy cycles for knees and a broken femur – they are not any fun. But I want to get back to living as active a life as I can muster. If God has determined that I’ve still got days left in this earthly body (that’s apparent), I

“Pay careful attention to your inner life.”  I remember hearing that in one of my earliest classes at Bethel College. And I’ve heard it said similarly and often by several of the pastors under whom I served. I’m so thankful for their wisdom and the ways they stretched me with hard questions about my motivations, emotions, temptations and desires. It’s in that inner life (the scripture calls it the soul) that the Holy Spirit comforts, inspires and calls us. But also the inner life is where we experience spiritual attack, identity confusion and dysfunction. Question : Have I always done well at that self-awareness and inner life? Sadly, no. Whenever I was not paying attention, I made major mistakes that usually required painful retracing of hard missteps. But I’m trying these days, to pay careful attention to my inner life. So paying attention, I was surprised the other morning, when I found myself stuck on a song – one of those “ear worms.”  I woke up with it.  And strangely for me

After a long (too long) delay in writing about the Cancer Journey, I’ll give it a try. I had another CT scan this morning and I read the results this afternoon. Again, the scan shows no metastatic disease (ie. no cancer to be found). This is now, I believe, my 7 th scan with no discernable cancer. I’m still in chemotherapy, coming to the end of a series and hoping to take a chemo-break.  They still don’t use that remission word around me. I don't really know why, but I think they want to be careful in their wording and remission doesn't really mean what a lot of us think it means. I am so thankful for the prayers of you who are pray-ers   and thankful to God for this extended time on planet earth. My hope is that you’ve been praying that God would accomplish whatever plan he has, whether it means (as the Apostle Paul said) “to depart and be with Christ,” or “to go on living in the body.” The first of those (to be with Jesus) he said is “better by far,” but he said “remaining

It’s been way too long since I updated you friends on this Cancer Journey. Last week was one of those medically intense weeks.  Lots of tests and doctor’s appointments.  Tuesday was blood testing and echocardiogram and a visit with my Oncologist.  Previous week had been an ultrasound of my liver.  Yesterday I spent most of the afternoon in chemotherapy and I’ve dragged the chemo pack around till Friday.  The good news in the last four CT scans is that they have not shown the presence of any cancer.  There have been some challenges around liver enzymes from my blood tests.  Doctors haven’t figured out why those have been enzymes too high. Is it the affects of chemo, or has there been something more going on? The ultra sound showed no serious abnormalities in the liver which is also good news and my recent blood tests have shown enzyme improvement. Didn't do the Superman, but it caught my eye Most of the time, I’m feeling quite good, though at times weak and frail.  Keeping weight on

I don’t know how to write this update. But it should start with... this little guy helps me stay sane   THANK YOU FOR PRAYING!!! God does love it when we pray.  He loves to hear our needs and our concern for others. He is more faithful to answer than we are to ask. THANK YOU FOR PRAYING FOR ME!! So last week involved several tests. Blood test before chemo. CT scans after chemo. And an Echocardiogram along the way. I didn’t feel great on Sunday and Monday – and had kind of steeled myself for a not-so-good Oncology visit yesterday. We were in the exam room for only a brief few moments before Dr Hanna came in and said, “Could you use some good news?” I said, “I’m always up for good news.” He said, “Your scans look wonderful - amazing in fact. I think we’d call this a miracle. The nodules in your lungs have all disappeared, except for only one that hasn't grown and hasn't shrunk. But we don’t even know if that one is cancer.” Allina Hospital attached onto the Mayo Clinic. Scans at

Have you ever watched a 3 year-old who has both hands full of sweets trying and struggling to pick up just one more? There are dynamics in my life that seem a lot like that right now. I’m struggling to let go of several of life’s enjoyments in order to grasp a deeper, more intense relationship and go deeper with Jesus. What’s been happening might seem cruel, had God not let me see the 3 year-old. Let me explain. I’ve received so many blessings in my life, that I now need space and capacity for what God intends for me now. Had a great time at Bethel University Homecoming. I'm told the banquet food was excellent  Those who know me well also know that I’m somewhat of a foodie. I have loved the adventure of new flavors and exotic tastes. My daughters have often heard from me as I heard from my dad, “Try it. You might like it.” And usually I do. But chemo therapy has robbed me of a whole set of flavors. Nothing tastes right and even long favorites now have a bitter edge. My revised